The Dungherder Presents: Lyridiculous, A Blog About Bad Lyrics

This is the Rolling Stones trying to make a punk song by ripping off The Kinks whilst simultaneously setting the stage for a career of lyrical copycat crimes by evil mustardmind Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. That alone should have gotten Jagger thrown out of the league three years before he was allowed to repeat his lyrical hate crimes with Start Me Up Shattered was already strike three for Mick Jagger, who had written previous felonious lyrics on at least two other counts; Brown Sugar, a song so drenched in objectification and fetishism that it is emotionally excruciating - and She's A Rainbow, which sounds like the predecessor to every book quote that young women share in social media to make flattering third person statements about themselves.  Her love radiates like moonbeams As she dances in the starlight Unafraid to let her soul glitter And drown out the darkness of despair Fucking. Kill. Me. Now. Uh huh shattered, uh huh shattered Love and hope and sex and dre...

This song was suggested by Tyler Mahan Coe , from the insanely wonderful podcast Cocaine & Rhinestones , a definitive look at the history of country music in the 20th century.  Fiddlin' Frenchie Burke already had a reputation as one of the hottest fiddlers in country music in the mid 1970s when he decided to launch a solo career . He was known for Jimi Hendrix-like showmanship with his instrument, playing behind his back and while others held his bow . And although it never appeared on any of his albums  he wrote one of the most show-stopping tunes of all time, although you've probably never heard of it until now and should probably be grateful for that. I translated the lyrics from this YouTube version of the song. My wife left me a long, long time ago I was to become a dad that fall I kept our wedding picture hanging all these years In my house outside my room there in the hall We can only assume here that his dog also died and his truck broke down. Actually I think we...

Before we get started I want to prepare you with a few disclaimers. First of all, I fully agree with the 'Fuck Tha Police' sentiment. I am a police abolitionist , so this lyric critique is not coming from a place of syCOPhantic police apologism or sympathizing. This is just not a good anti-police song, and I will explain why. Secondly, I am not going to comment on the entire set of lyrics, since they are an endless saga of repetition, which is mostly just machismo posturing. The lyrics to this song are everything I hate about Quentin Tarantino films. I won't need to use many examples to show you why these lyrics are just patently self-refuting and thus pretty fugkn dumb. You probably know very few lyrics from this song. Maybe the spoken part at the beginning and the first verse, and certainly the chorus, but I would almost guarantee that 99% of people who claim they love this song have no idea what the rest of it is about. Because of that, most people think this is a song ...

The word 'narcissism' gets thrown around a little loosely these days. It has become a buzzword we have detached from any consistent definition in order to dehumanize people and behaviors we do no like under the justification of pathology. So believe that I am not speaking lightly when I say that this song is an almost perfect example of narcissism. Shania Twain cowrote the song with producer Robert John "Mutt" Lange, who by this point must have known Shania is a raging narcissist , and could hardly believe she would go along with this bombastic public admission of her inadequacy as a human being. Prepare yourself, because if you didn't hate Twain as a person before this, you're about to. This is what a woman wants Right away, please shut the fugk up, Shania. You are not allowed to speak for anyone but yourself. You do not get to drag every other woman down with you as you reveal your toxic personality to the world Any man of mine better be proud of me Even whe...

I can recall being about four or five years old and watching my mom and younger brother dance around the house singing this song. It was infuriating. I pleaded with them to stop. Didn't they realize how fugkn dumb this song is? Why would they be doing this when there was good music in the house to listen to? You see, you don't have to be more than four or five years old to realize a song comparing a bird singing to rock and roll music makes Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star sound like Einsteinian Death Metal. I have already written about birds and cats in bad lyrics, and I think I am starting to see a very disturbing pattern emerge. Tweedle-lee-dee-dee-dee, tweedle-lee-dee-dee Tweet.tweet.tweet.tweet This is never okay. Scat as a vocal style is bad enough as it is, but when you mix that with sounds from the animal kingdom you better be in The Wiggles, otherwise you just immediately lost all rock credibility forever. He rocks in the tree tops all day long Hoppin' and a-boppin...

If you're ever driving and you suddenly smell patchouli, turn your radio off immediately, because you have just smelled this song coming from a block away. This song is so full of saccharine love and peace clichés and platitudes that it reads like it was written by some crude first generation chatbot. The reason the hippies failed to do anything of value during their stink in the sun can be understood through this song. They had absolutely no message whatsoever, and were just an echo chamber of poorly thought out sentiments. Lyrics this terrible could only be perpetrated on us from a band who thought it would be a good idea to name themselves The Youngbloods. Go grab something to punch before we get started. Love is but a song to sing Fear's the way we die I don't know about you but I've already had to start punching. Love is but a song to sing? That is a completely meaningless statement. It doesn't even count as a metaphor. If you started a poem in 4th grade with t...

Look out, Carlos, I think you're about to do a dump! Black Magic Woman is an anthem to misogyny. It was originally written by that guy from Fleetwood Mac who had the good sense to become an acid casualty and quit the band before the human resource nightmare of Nicks & Buckingham joined the team. But the version most of us are familiar with is the one performed by Santana, the man who somehow convinced everyone he was a guitar genius by displaying his ability to overbend consecutive notes on a single string. In the end it doesn't matter who is responsible for this clumsy jingle of toxic masculinity, since this women-are-witches-because-I-cannot-control-my-urges cliché was already a tired trope long before either version was released. Unfortunately it didn't end there.  "Man, come on, I had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man." - Saint Lebowski Got a black magic woman Got? You possess this woman? She is what, your property? An object which you can c...

  Lyridiculous is not just a place for me to throw shade on songs or artists I do not like. That might sometimes be the case, but for the most part, I wouldn't even realize a song's lyrics were sketchy unless I had allowed myself to listen to it countless times. In this case I am a fan of the song and the artist. Holy Diver is a total banger, and I will straight up shit in your fanny pack if you so much as suggest Dio isn't a fugkn rock god. But that being said, what the fugk is this song even about? Well over at Songfacts I learned that it is some kind of Jesus science fiction thing . Like, after The Savior died he went to another planet to save them, too, and now he is about to head off to the next one, but they really don't want him to go. And somehow there are big cats involved. Ronnie was a recovering former Catholic, so I am sure this parody of his childhood religion made sense in some personal way that I will probably never understand, unless a hologram containin...

It is fairly obvious that this is a song about angst, and pretty much nothing else. But it is not about your angst, nor mine. It is about Billy Corgan's angst. At the time this song was written and released The Smashing Pumpkins were one of the biggest bands in the world. Billy's angst is not like our angst. He is not angsty about the sort of stuff that people with actual struggles are angsty about. He is angsty because he has achieved success, and it is still not enough that an insane amount of people love him. He is angsty because not every single person loves him, and because the industry that gave him his success is also profiting from his campaign against good lyrics. Let's do this. The world is a vampire - sent to drain When he calls the world a vampire I don't think that is a compliment, which is strange considering that Billy Corgan was in full Nosferatu cosplay at the time. So who are these vampires? Like, the industry, man. But also you, his fans. You heartles...